I sit here after a hard day of work and more work. I am starting to feel physically better from whatever I had. I was just plain run down, maybe sick but I will not commit to that word.
I drove home and planned on riding the trainer and watch a little T.V. but as I opened the frig I found seasonal brew looking me in the mouth. I quickly closed the door and ignored the calling, but it became overwhelming. I could here it call, "Never more, never more..." I ran to the radio and turned it to a station that would guarantee to drown out the calling, but there I found it again, "never more, never more...". I ate my food and played songs in my head, I put the children to bed, it was time to be fed, but then it came stronger then before, 'NEVER MORE, NEVER MORE..." I screamed in pain! And reached for the refrigerator door, when I heard the scream, "NEVER MORE, NEVER MORE..."
My parody of the Raven by Edgar Allen Poe
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten beer,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my refrigerator door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my refrigerator door -
Only this and nothing more.'
And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each white carbonated curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my refrigerator door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my refrigerator door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my refrigerator door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream of PBR
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `PBR!'
This I whispered and an echo murmured back the word, `PBR!'
Merely this and nothing more.
Back into the kitchen turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my sliding door;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and not PBR!'
Open here I flung the sliding door, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately dog of the saintly days of smore.
Not the least obeisance made she; not a minute stopped or stayed she;
But, with mien of lord or lady, laid below my refrigerator door -
Laid upon a rug of color just above my refrigerator door
Laid still, and nothing more.
Much I marveled this ungainly mutt to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing dogs below his refrigerator door -
Dog or beast above the sculptured bust above his refrigerator door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'
But the dog, sitting lonely on the colored rug, spoke only,
That one word, as if her soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a hair then she fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the dog said, `PBR.'
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till her songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of her hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "PBR-PBR."'
But the dog still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of dog and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous dog of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous dog of yore
Meant in barking `PBR.'
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the dog whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!
Then, me thought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of PBR!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost PBR!'
Quoth the dog, `PBR.'
`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if dog or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the dog, `PBR.'
`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if dog or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named PBR -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named PBR?'
Quoth the dog, `PBR.'
`Be that word our sign of parting, dog or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black hair as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust below my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the dog, `PBR.'
And the dog, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the colored rug just below my refrigerator door;
And her eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er her streaming throws her shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!
I know, this is what happens when you are trying to decide if I should ride my trainer or drink a beer? Yes! This is exactly what happens! It drives me insane! Tonight PBR won!
Remember, I teach your kids! Makes you pretty happy don't it?
